To those who have been touched by unimaginable trauma, physical and/or emotional,
I pray you find your peace.
Ask, believe, receive and be immensely thankful for all is possible
when we live in gratitude and joy
I freaking loved this book, spoilers ahead about a single mom -Jillian or Jill- working as a nurse in the ER. Who runs into a beautiful Italian man -Luca- covered in tattoos and a mouth watering body. I think every woman will love Luca, be good with kids, his first language Italian (one of my favorite parts of the book. I love Duolingo MC), protective to a fault and can be your safe place on bad days.
Luca is unsure of how life will be after fleeing Italy with his older brother, sister and her child to the US. It’s not easy getting out of the mafia, even harder when it’s your family, but Luca was tired of the illegal dealing his father was doing.
“Bye Luke.” As I turn to leave, I feel his warm, calloused hand wrap around my wrist and look back at him, a bit stunned by his unexpected touch and the spark it’s ignited.
“It’s Luca. You can call me Luca.”
I wasn’t sure where the book title came into play when I first started reading. Was a little confused until I got to this scene. Luca had to be sure that his father, the people he worked for or his father’s enemies so he changed his name to Luke. Not a far cry from Luca but who am I to judge. He probably just needed something quick and a common name.
After recently losing her husband Jillian is still navigating life with three young children while juggling working on one of the most important under-appreciated jobs in the world: an ER nurse. Could she throw in an extremely attractive Italian who is amazing with kids into her crazy life, possibly. but will his past come in the way?
“Luigi, this is JIllian. She’s the incredible nurse who took care of me in the ET the other day.”
“Oh.” I wave him off. “I didn’t do anything incredible. Only doing my job.”
“No, no. I watched you. You’re a badass.”
The kids break out in a fit of laughter, and now Luca’s cheeks resemble mine too. “Oh, I’m sorry. But it was the first thing that came to mind. Maybe superwoman would be better description for this table.”
“I really didn’t do anything worthy of being called a superhero.”
“Oh, no?” Luca turns to the children, animatedly sharing his story with them. “You mother knew what was wrong with me the minute she examined me. Before the doctor. Then, she let me come and get Mimmo from the bus and get my tests done once I got back. I was discharged the next morning because you provided such good care. And all while taking care of really sick patients. Much sicker than me.”
My eyes flick over to Myla, who’s beaming at me with pride. I have to blink a few times to prevent getting teary-eyed over this. He’ll never know what his words been to me
All the tears reading this scene. First, having someone actually praise you for once at your job. There is a reason I don’t work in health care anymore, more often than not people shit on you for just doing your job. You try to help as many people as possible, go over and beyond what you are supposed to and sometimes it’s just never enough. Secondly to have someone brag to your children about how amazing you and to see the look of pride in your children’s faces
My father didn’t return for my wedding, nor the birth of my children. My mom tried to rationalize that he likely wasn’t making enough money to travel, but I knew better. He’d rarely sent birthday cards, Christmas cards or gifts after he left. And phone calls become few and far between. I tried not to let it bother me, but after a while, I simply had to acknowledge a relationship with me and my brother wasn’t important enough for him to try harder than he did. I know it’s his loss and all that rot, but when you’re a young girl and trying to learn the ways of the world, this sends a message
This one hurt. My parents divorced when I was a young child, I don’t even remember them together but feeling unloved is never easy. Unlike Jill, both my parents stayed in my life, but it wasn’t easy watching my father build a life with another woman( one whom I dislike every much and only nice to her because of my sisters) and having children with her. For the longest time I also thought of my sisters as my replacement. I didn’t really feel like I belonged in that house and it was evident when the wife decided to turn my room into a storage room while I still lived there part time. Also doubting yourself, wondering why you aren’t enough, what could be wrong with me and so many more thoughts just like those ones to bring you down. Lower your confidence making you feel as big as a bug.
For the longest time I could not figure what happened the father/husband. Slowly the story started to unravel. I knew he had passed away but wasn’t sure on how. He was in the military, constantly on missions, never really home and when he was, he wasn’t. Sure he was there in person but his head was miles away. His mind was no longer his, the depression taking over and seeing the only answer out.
As someone who suffers from depression and has tried to un alive themselves in the moment you really don’t care or think about anyone else or what the consequences of your actions. He saw a way out. He didn’t think about who would find him in the house or if any of his children would see…
‼️Do yourself the favor and go read this book. Fall in love with Luca like I did
In Italy, family is everything.
This woman’s not the kind you have a random hookup with. She’s the type you beg to never leave
Yet even though I know I shouldn’t allow her into my world, I want to say, Yours.
You can call me yours
I’m good enough to desire, but not good enough to fight for. Good enough to love, but not enough to stay
Damn, all the feels while reading this book. LM really pulling at the heart strings. I used to feel like this all the time, sometimes I still do. It’s hard to love yourself or believe someone loves you when all you know is people leaving you. Never staying around and forever wondering what could be wrong with me
“I offered to take her. It was wrong. I should’ve spoken to you about it first. But she was crying and I couldn’t take it anymore. That beautiful girl deserves the world. I never meant to act as if I could take his place. Jillian I only wanted to chase away her tears.”
One of the many reasons we love Luca
“Fear has two meanings:
‘Forget Everything and Run’
Or
‘Face Everything and Rise.’
The choice is yours
She comes closer, my mind keeps chanting one thing.
She’s mine
“Yes.. Um, Lucas?”
What’s the matter, Farfalla?”
“Can I call you Dad now?”
Looking down at her. It’s clear. I may have been born into a nightmare, but now… I’m living a fairytale life.
“Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.”
Reaching for my phone. I scroll to my notes app. “Who said that, oh wise one?”
“The Dalai Lama. Life’s too short Luca”
I can’t help but ask the question. “Is Mimmo?”
“Yes.” Luca looks away. “He’s both our pride and joy, and the product of so much pain.”
My heart breaks for his sister. I can’t begin to imagine how you recover from something so horrific.
“She loves him. I’ve never doubted that. She simply struggled to get past the trauma she suffered
I was kinda wondering about Dominico myself. If he was the product of an evil un-speak able act. This is where Luca starts to open up to Jill about his past life, why they had fled from Italy and why he needed a different name. Just living the part about the mafia out
“Oh, anytime.” She turns, pointing at me. “Next time you plan on buttering my daughter’s biscuit, I’ll keep them overnight, Luca.” She grins knowingly before waving over her shoulder and sauntering toward the door.
“Mom!” Jillian’s cheeks are flaming red now.
“I like your mother.” I beam
“Oh, my, god.” Running up the steps, I pull her into me. This child. This sweet, sweet child. I can hear Luca clearly in my head. I know no doubt she’ll speak when she’s ready. Farfalla has too much to offer the world to stay quiet. It’s clear this was her line in the sand. It was too important for her to remain quiet any longer. My brave, beautiful girl chose this moment to voice what’s important to her. And it’s clear. That’s Luca
“I’m so proud of you, Myla.” I cup her face, kissing her cheeks
I lost my shit when Myla spoke up to let Matteo know that she was also missing Luca
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